ochanilele (ochanilele) wrote,

An open letter to Bryan

This post recently appeared on my ex lover’s livejournal. I saw it when I logged into livejournal today because he remains on my livejournal friends’ list. I thought I’d reply to it publically, since it is a public post anyone can access. But, first, here is his complete entry:



Hello LiveJournal! After two months of being away i am now returning to post to all my fans,,,,,all 3 of you LOL

Ok so lets see...Well i went to NYC to visit my new Madrina, her name is Luz but she goes by Chango Bi, obviously she is crowed Chango and Obba is her mom. Since i had already been marked to two other Orishas she wanted there to be no controversy over who my ruling Orisha is, so instead of brining down her Chango on estera she took me to a Babalawo who would have the final say. My ruling Orisha came out being Chango! The Babalawos told me that in that letter my Spirits were saying that i MUST move out as soon as i got back to Florida. The Babalawos even knew i was living with a Priest of Obatala. They said my spirits would not let me progress unless i left that house and made a life for myself, they also said in that sign my Guardian Orisha was marked wrong and that they marked me to that Orisha because they FELT that is who it was, that part was also confirmed by two other Oriates, all things that La Sirene and Ezili Freda had mentioned before.

After i got back to Orlando all hell broke lose,,,,again. I told Stuart i had been marked Changos child and for get it, pa que fue eso. He started yelling and ranting about how dare i go over what HIS Godfather said, HIS Godfather has the ache and he knows that i am really Yemayas child and the Orishas were only doing this to punish me and that at the end he knows i will end up getting Yemaya, because HIS godfather said. Stuart has taboo with Changos kids so he asked with Obi if he could be with me and Chango gave Okana, which was fine cuz i had to move anyways. He said if i was there by the first i had to pay him $400 but i couldnt have anyone over.....ummmm yea right....Ezili Freda got me a nice apartment a week later, fully furnished, water, electricity, and internet included, and its closer to work! Ayibobo! So im starting my life over with the help of my spirits.



Now, a few points I’d like to make.

            First, Bryan, I love how you attribute everything good in your life to the intervention of your lwa. I think you forget that almost everything good in your life the past year came about by the intervention of Stuart. Since you asked to get back together, and came back to Orlando, Florida, in July 2008, you have not had a single financial care in the world. It took you four months to find a job. I paid all the bills, and gave you money. After that, you got a job, and I continued to pay all the bills with the express understanding that you would save to do your ocha. Since you began work, all you managed to save was enough money to get to NY for one trip, and to get your own apartment. You ate out. You bought supplies to work “witchcraft.” You spent your money on serving lwa. You paid your brother’s and sister-in-law’s bills. You did everything EXCEPT save for your ocha.

            You got your new apartment not by the intervention of your lwa, but by the intervention of Stuart and your grandmother. Again, you had no bills to pay. You whined and begged for about an hour for me to cosign for your apartment, because you didn’t meet the financial requirements for your apartment. We were broken up, so why you thought I’d cosign for anything was beyond me. When you realized it was futile, you gave up and called your grandmother. She cosigned for your apartment. Thank your grandmother for that.

            I most certainly did not go ballistic when you told me you were Shangó’s child. I will admit that because I have total faith in my godfather (I would be dead right now if not for his ashé) I do believe that you are Yemayá’s child, and not Shangó's. If that’s a sin, then let me burn in hell for it.

Now, here is what I was upset over, and I was upset at both you and your godmother. You lied to me. Before you went to NY, you told me that all you were doing was meeting your new godmother for the first time, and then doing a few misas. You told me, before you went, that in a future trip to Miami you would go with your godmother to her godfather, who is an oriaté, to have your head marked. After you got to NY, you changed your story, and said that you were going to babalawos to have a plante. I was fine with that. Then, the night of the plante, after everything was over, you lied to me. This lie was supported by your godmother. She told me that your “reading” came in Otura Oché. You told me that the babalawos were too busy to do a plante, and all you had was a reading, and both you and your godmother asked me for information about that odu.

            When you got home, you perpetuated the lie. I asked you again and again if you had a plante, and you lied. Again and again. Is it a wonder when someone EMAILED me to tell me the truth that I was upset? You have a habit of doing just this. Telling lies. Again and again. Who wouldn’t be upset? I think you dramatized me by saying I went ballistic.

            Now, since you think you know everything about me, and everything I do, let me tell you something that you didn’t know; and, almost all of this will be news to everyone except your godmother. Since you tried to hit me with your fist a few weeks ago in anger, and instead destroyed a net book (which I had to pay for), I’ve been wanting to do one of two things: get rid of you, or get you in counseling for your multiple issues. Yes, you heard right – I was looking for a way to get rid of you . . . get you out of my life . . . or get you into counseling where you could get help for your issues, and maybe save our “relationship,” if it can be called that. I did ebó way before you went to NY. I put Obatalá in Shangó's batea, and I put Shangó in Obatalá’s tureen based on a reading I gave myself the day AFTER you tried to hit me in anger. And I left them like that. Elegguá told me to leave them like that until after the issue of getting rid of you vs. getting you into a shrink’s office was resolved.

            After I found out that you were marked Shangó’s child from someone other than you or your godmother, I asked you if you knew about my issues with Shangó. Of course you did, because when I’m away at work, you feel you have free reign of my orishas and notes and itá book. You “knew” that I had to throw obi to Shangó to ask permission from him before I could do anything with his children.

            Well, Bryan, this is another case of you thinking you know everything. It’s also another case of aleyos thinking they know anything about the religion at all. Anyone who KNOWS odu knows that the odu in which Shangó spoke applies to godchildren. It most certainly does not apply to one’s lover or love life. But, since you read that to which you had no right, and because you told me you “knew” that was what I had to do, I did what you said. I threw obi to Shangó to ask if we could be together.

            Well, actually I was going to wait . . . and after things cooled down . . . try explaining to you that you really didn’t know anything at all. But you kept riding my ass about being Shangó’s child and not Yemayá’s so hard that morning that I couldn’t take it anymore. I went ahead and threw obi.

            Only . . . it wasn’t to Shangó that I threw obi. It was to Obatalá, because I was waiting for resolution to the issue that I brought to Elegguá the day after you tried to hit me with your fist. It was Obatalá who said I could not be with you; and I only threw obi because your nosey butt went into my itá, read it, and you, as always, thought you knew everything about ocha and how it works. You, like most aleyos out there, need to realize that in the end, you know very little – and you should stay out of other people’s itá, especially when you have no knowledge of odu.


Now – one more thing you should know, especially since you say Orunla told you that you had to move away from me. When I went to NY, I went to a cajon for muerto. A woman I’ve never met before in my life came up to me, and told me that Tomasa did not like you. She didn’t like how you treated me and took advantage of me, and she most certainly did not like the fact that you tried to hit me. She said Tomasa was going to have you out my life in 30 days whether I wanted you around or not. I asked her to plead with her Tomasa, because I had consulted Elegguá on this and was hoping to get you in to see a psychologist or counselor for you anger issues, and for some relationship counseling for us. She told me that the minute you raised your hand to hit me, Tomasa was over you; and, she told me the only reason you didn’t hit me was because Tomasa took control of your arm to make you hit something else instead. And she said it was over and done, and forces were in motion to make you leave.

            And, gone you are.

            I wish you the best, Bryan, but you need help. I pray that you get it.



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